I. The Student's Perspective

Dér Stépanos Dingilian, Ph. D. © 2000

            The students interviewed were mainly high school age, grades 9^th through 12^th.  They were interviewed in person or as a group.  As expected, in a group setting, the older students tended to respond more than the younger ones.  All the interviewed students regularly attend Church with their parents.  However, not all attend Sunday School.  Instead some prefer being present at the Badarak, the Divine Liturgy, the Community Worship Service.  Some of these students attend Armenian school, others public school, and others non-Armenian religious school. 

As a point of observation, it was apparent that those attending religious school had thought a great deal more about the issues discussed here, not only about the importance of religious education, but also about the role of the family, the teacher, and the peers.  Perhaps if those in public schools were given more time and opportunity to reflect, they would have had a greater insight.  The point is that the religious environment tends to bring out the importance of family and community a great deal more than other educational settings.

1. What are the most important elements that a student needs to learn in school?

1.  The responses could be divided into three categories.  The most common is the social aspect – meeting and learning about different kinds of people, learning about different countries and cultures.  “I think its cool hanging out with other students.  We get to talk about what we like and don’t like, what we want to be someday.  I also learn about their family and friends outside of the school.”  Second and just as important is getting good grades in order to “go to college and then get a good job.”  The report card is an important driver and motivation to study:  “If I get good grades, then people are off my back.  If not, then I don’t have my freedom.”  The third aspect mentioned by a few, especially those who attend Armenian school is the need to learn about history and the Armenian cultural heritage.  “This helps me appreciate those who died in order for me to be here.”  History is important because “we learn from the mistakes of others.” 

2.  What is the student’s responsibility towards his or her education?

2.  Two opposite views emerged:  On the one hand, the student is fully responsible, and on the other hand, the student may not know what is possible in life and therefore may not be responsible for himself.

            In the first instance, it was apparent that the majority emphasized that a student has to willfully want to study in order to get ahead.  “For those who want to study, I don’t think there is anything standing in their way!”  There are many obstacles that need to be overcome:  “You have to learn to say ‘No!’  If you don’t, you can lose everything, and no one is going to stick his neck out for you!”  It was apparent that these students realized the importance of being in a circle of friends who appreciated going to school:  “You got to hang around with the right group, stay focused on the studies, and keep out of trouble!”

            On the other hand, some of the younger students pointed out that there are so many of their friends who come from families and circles where there is confusion of roles within the family, so they are not to be blamed for their lack of interest in education:  “When I tell them about my family, how we sit down and have dinner, their eyes open, they look at me with a surprise and say ‘Wow!’  Some have never seen all their family together at one place.  Others say that their families don’t think education will get them anywhere.  So how could you blame these students for not being interested in education?!”

3.  What is the parent’s role in a student’s education, if any?

3.  Among the questions asked, this was of the most interest for the youngsters.  It seemed that they needed to talk about the relationship with their parents.  Perhaps they sensed their parents’ enormous love and caring but could not give it shape or express it.  Or perhaps some felt a strong ambivalence or even a certain amount of guilt.  These issues were not probed, but it was apparent that they wanted to talk about their relationship with their parents! They all agreed that, first, parents are loving and supportive, and need to encourage and discipline more.  Second, that parents need to learn how to ‘back off,’ and encourage without ‘turning them off.’

            There was no question that the parents provide the discipline and the motivation for education.  All students who responded confirmed this reality.  By asking about grades and probing about school and friends, parents help their youngsters remain responsible and thinking about the consequence of their actions.  If anything, students wanted more of their parent’s caring and support.  Some even recognized:  “I cannot imagine those students whose parents don’t care or are not even there!  It must be really difficult for them!”  The majority of those interviewed who attend Sunday School pointed out that they were there because their parents wanted them to be there.

            However, very often, ‘caring’ and ‘support’ turns into ‘pushiness’ by parents, according to the students.  “Parents don’t realize that times have changed, the subjects we study have changed, and the way we are taught and the homework we have to prepare have changed since they were in school.”  The students want their parents to be interested in their studies and ask about their classes.  However, they do not want their parents to tell them how to do their work.  This is true for those whose parents were born overseas and those who are American born.

Consequently, most students have learned how to appease their parents by pretending that they listen and do well in school.  “They come into my room and automatically they tell me to turn off the TV and do my homework.  I tell them I don’t have any, but they insist that I do.  So I turn off the TV and as soon as they leave, I just turn it back on again and continue doing what I was doing.  They are too busy to come back and check!”  Another survival technique for the student appears to be showing only the  positive:  “When I have good grades, I tell my parents.  When not, I simply don’t tell them.”  But don’t they ask?  “If they do, I give them an excuse.  Most of the time they are too busy so they’ll forget.”

4. What is the teacher’s role in the student’s education, if any?

4. Most students recognized that teachers can play a key role in their education.  They described some teachers as inspirational, but most simply as ‘doing their job.’  They recognized however that some students make the classroom difficult for the teacher, even if the teacher is a good one.

            Most students said that they become interested in a subject or a class because they found the teacher interested in them and willing to listen.  The teacher who is liked is the one who shows discipline!  On the other hand, only a few students felt that the teacher’s personal involvement mattered very little.  They thought that the teacher was in class simply to convey information.  “If I am interested in a subject, I will study it regardless of the teacher!”  But again, these students were few.

            Students pointed out that in general most teachers were simply doing their daily work and not going beyond the minimum requirements to make the class interesting for them, or inspire them to study.  It seemed that the classes were bland and dull. 

            The students also admitted that regardless of how good a teacher may be, there are students who make life difficult for them by disturbing the class.  The consensus was that most students are afraid to talk to those disturbing peers.  They conceded that most teachers have the odds stacked against them in attempting to maintain discipline in the class.

5. Does spirituality play a role in education?

5. The response was a unanimous:  ‘Yes!’  The most important observation about students with religious education:  “They know the right from the wrong!”  As a result, “they don’t get in trouble, they keep their noses clean, because you got to stay focused these days!”  What is most useful for a student?  “Knowing the biblical principles and how I am going to use them!”  And where are these learnt?  “The Church is helpful, and we will not leave our Church - but we mainly see rituals that we can’t relate to our life.  To learn something, you have to open the Bible and read it.  Hopefully your parents or someone will help you make sense of it.  This is where what you are calling ‘spirituality’ can be helpful, because I certainly can’t understand the Bible or apply it by myself.” 

            The students who have learned to discern, tell the right way of life from the wrong because of their religious knowledge, also seem to be most appreciative of family, friends, school, community and Church.  This is also noticed by non-Christian students who tell the Christian ones:  “You can tell a Christian student by the way she cares about others and always helps out.  You know, it makes you want to be around people like that!”  “I am told that you can also tell a Christian student because he does not tire or lose control as others.  They seem to find the time for everything – studying, playing, and listening.  They are always supporting you even in the face of difficulties!” 

* * * * *

Student - Parent - Teacher Relationship in Education:
A Summary of Findings

Student - Parent - Teacher Relationship:
The Survey Questionnaire

II.  The Parent’s Perspective

III. The Teacher's Perspective

Voices of Experience:  Parents On Educating Teenagers

Teenager Related Cover Page

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