Can we ask God for a 'soul mate'?:
Sam's Blessings and Entrapments

Adapted from the book A Spiritual Ascent
by Dér Stépanos Dingilian, Ph. D. © 2001

    This series is intended to help think through and reflect upon ways we can ask God for a soul mate, and reflect upon how we may appreciate God's blessing by maintaining and strengthening our relationship.  There will be additional insights shortly.

Sam's Story of Wonder!

Sam was feeling utterly devastated after his girl friend of six years, Heather, told him she is walking out on him: “You are just a selfish self-centered big baby who wants attention all the time!” she told him as she threw his apartment key at him and moved out!  Needless to say, Sam felt like dirt!  He went to the Church down the street, knelt in a back dark corner (like the Pharisee he remembered from Sunday School), and began sobbing: “God, why is this happening to me?  I don’t know what’s happening anymore!  I am going to leave everything up to You!  I throw up my hands – You take me where You want me!  You find the girl for me!”  After he wiped off his tears, he walked to the singles’ bar at the beach, and started drinking – one drink after another!  He didn’t want to know what will happen next; in fact he really didn’t care!  As the bar around him began spinning, he did not know which way was up, and he simply lost balance!  

Sam was amazed when he woke up in a bed with a woman’s face gazing at him.  Yes, his excruciating headache was overpowering and he was still in a daze, but his amazement was even greater: "Who is this woman?!"  Simultaneously he remembered the statement he heard before passing out: "The woman who helps you is the woman who loves you."  He thought: “Is this the woman that God sent me?!”  "Yes," he thought, "this is the woman that God sent me!  That must have been God's voice!"  

This was a new phase in Sam’s life: God had responded to his need and fulfilled his request!  God sent him Jessica – a marketing representative for a not-for-profit organization.  She had volunteered to take him home until he came back to consciousness.  When Sam told her how he went to Church, sobbed, and called upon God for help, and God responded by sending her, Jessica was amazed.  She knew that God sent her to Sam.  This was certainly a match made in heaven! 

Sam began telling everyone about he met Jessica, and he shared every detail – from the break up with Heather, to going to the Church, requesting help from God, drinking at the bar, God talking to him and then sending Jessica to him.  People were amazed by his story, and were even awed by Sam’s faith. 

Soon, Sam was spending more time at the bar.  The bar manager did not have any trouble with Sam telling his story to singles who were desperate about finding a soul mate.  He was describing how desperate he was, how he placed everything in God's hands, all his drinking, and the exact movement as he was passing out!  His favorite part was telling about how he heard God's voice!  Sam was gradually refining and even expanding on the details of his experience.  He was even guiding singles to the Church, to pray in the back dark corner, and then going to the bar, sitting in the special seat, having drink after drink, and then uttering the important words and falling over!  Jessica sometimes came and helped Sam in his story telling, and Sam proudly showed her off as the proof that God really responds to our requests!  Although it started with single men like Sam, but soon single women were asking for guidance too!  Sam was becoming very popular.  He would always tell his story, and then show Jessica’s portrait: “This is the girl that God gave me!  God can give you the person of your dreams too!”

The bar owner was very pleased that his bar had become a landmark, and even placed a sign saying: “This is where Sam sits.”   The bar owner even prepared a simple menu, and every Tuesday night he had “Meet Sam Evening,” where the drinks were two for the price of one.  Single men and women could go, eat, drink, and be merry!  Business was brisk! 

The local Church pastor was also pleased that people who had not come to Church were now visiting his, and made sure that the Church was open, and the back dark corner was clean so Sam and his group of singles have the opportunity to go to there, kneel, and pray.  He too printed a number of fliers – “Talk to Sam about God.”

Sam was guiding his tours every day, except Monday.  That was the day when there were sports activities that drew people to the bar and created too much competition for Sam, so Sam took off Mondays.  Consequently the Church pastor was surprised to see Sam in the back corner of the Church, kneeling and sobbing on a Monday.  Later that night, the bar manager was also surprised seeing Sam at his traditional place putting down one drink after another!  The bar manager came over quickly, stopped Sam, and asked what was wrong.  “I need a new girl from God!  Jessica dumped me!  She does not want me to ever use her name again!  She said she loved me, but I am too selfish like a grown up baby!  She dumped me!”      

Spiritual Blessings

God gives us a soul mate if we sincerely request  - Sam was very direct and open in his request from God, and God responded!  This is all we need to do: Be direct and open with God!  This sounds simple, and it is!  This is why Christ pointed out that "if you have faith as much as that of a mustard seed, you can tell a tree fall into the sea and it will."  If we are open, God naturally guides us towards the soul mate whom we request.  Unfortunately, often we confuse ourselves and are not clear as to what we are requesting from God.  Or, we are not sure if we want a soul mate.  We may do ‘window shopping,’ so to speak.  Unfortunately, the years go by, and so do the opportunities, and we are left with no one with whom we can share and enjoy our life!

God provides our request in ways that we do not expect – Sam did not know that he will meet Jessica or how he will meet her.  All those were arranged by God!  Sam could have never found her in any other way, except by allowing God to send her his way.  Often we limit our life, relationships, and accomplishments because we put blinders on, and do not appreciate God’s blessings!  However, if we allow God to help us out, we may find friends and relationships that we could have never even thought of finding.  Truly, God’s ways and means are above and beyond that of God!

God talks to us! – Yes, God talks to us!  God spoke to Abraham and Moses, and He speaks to each and single of us.  This does not mean that our mission in life is similar to that of Abraham or Moses.  No!  It is a mission that is fit for us!  Nevertheless, God still talks to us because we are important to Him!  Unfortunately, some get carried away with how God sounded - was it a whisper or a thunder!  How God speaks to us is irrelevant.  What matters to us is that when God talks to us, we get a sense of mission and direction in life.  This is what happened to Sam.  Just like in the olden days some people argued as to how many angels fit on top of a pin head, today some argue about ho God's voice sounds.  That is secondary.  The key is the fact that God spoke to us and directed us! 


Spiritual Entrapments

God's Personal visit does not change our personality - God visits us Personally, but He does not change our personality.  We have to change our personality!  Heather, Sam’s first girlfriend left him because he was selfish.  Sam prayed to God for another girlfriend, and God granted his request and sent Jessica.  But Sam did not change his selfish ways, so Jessica left him too!  The key is that God grants our requests – but we have to appreciate that gift and expend personal effort at holding on to that gift.  Yes, God granted Sam’s request, but God did not change Sam’s personality.  Only Sam could change his personality – this is the gift of free will and rationality that God has bestowed upon Sam, and all humans!

We can waste a gift even though it is 'heaven sent' - The relationship between Sam and Jessica was literally ‘heaven sent’!  Yet, just because it is given by God that does not mean that it will last.  It is not that God did not give the best, but rather it was Sam who did not take care of God’s gift.  There are two important points here.  First, it is not that God gave the wrong gift, so we do not have to try to defend or make excuses for God’s actions.  This means that even a marriage that is blessed by God can go awry if we humans do not take care of the marriage with which God blessed us!  This is very evident in the fact that even though Christ chose Judas Iscariot, yet Judas did not uphold his end of the gift!  God gave the right gift – it is Sam who wasted the gift! 

Second, just because a gift is given by God, it does not mean that it cannot be lost!  Some who believe in 'Predestination' feel that if a gift is given by God, no matter what they do with it, even if they abuse it, God will still preserve it for them.  No!  The Gospels are full of examples where people lost their blessings because they did not take care of their gifts. 

(We will continue the Spiritual Blessings and Entrapments!)

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