What are you expecting from your prayers?

  by Dér Stépanos Dingilian, Ph.D. © 2003

    Often I am asked: What should I expect when I pray to God for something? This question often comes up when people are lonely and looking for a soul mate, or they or a loved is sick and they are asking for healing. Many ask this question because they feel frustrated that God is not hearing or responding to their prayers, and they feel something is missing. So I generally ask: What are you expecting from your prayers? Let us consider some ways that we can expect our prayers to help us during these moments of need.

1. The miraculous sign. Of course, many of us have the images of the miraculous signs that Christ performed during his ministry, and we hope that the response from God will be something similar – quick, definite, and complete fulfillment of what we ask from God. If a loved one is ill, we expect immediate healing. If we are looking for a soul mate, we expect to meet the right person immediately. Of course this can and does happen. However, God may also help us attain our objectives in other ways.

2. Give us the hope so we would not panic. When there is a difficult situation, we can very easily panic. It seems that it is the end of the world and the situation is hopeless. At times such as these, although we would not attain our request immediately, but prayer helps us gain some hope that someday we will attain what we are looking for.

3. Relieve the fear and anxiety because of time. When a difficult situation arises, it seems that “time has collapsed,” that the end has come, there is no time to do anything, our back is against the wall, and we are helpless. At moments such as these, prayer helps us not only be hopeful, but also realize that time is on our side – that we have time to plan and take the necessary steps in order to deal with the difficult situation.

4. Wisdom for planning. Prayer also helps us become wiser and insightful about the options for action that we have at our disposal. This wisdom allows us to plan and set a strategy for how we will deal with the difficult situation. Before the prayer we may have felt that we are lonely, isolated, and have nowhere to turn to. After prayer, we can become wiser and gradually see that we have more options than we thought.

5. The courage to act. It is not sufficient to have an idea of the options we have; we also need to act upon them. In fact, often a situation appears bleak because we do not see any options because we do not take an action. Yet once we set our fear aside through prayer and move forward, suddenly hopeful situations begin appearing on the horizon.

6. The patients to persevere. Perhaps one of the most frustrating moments in life is when a loved one is in duress or we are in a difficulty, and there is nothing we can do about the situation except wait. At times such as these, prayer can certainly give us the patients to persevere and endure till a situation is clarified.

7. Help us face a situation. After all of our prayers, the conclusion may be that there is nothing we can do about to change the situation and we have to face it with dignity and integrity. At such moments prayer helps us in two ways. First, it helps us deal with our anger and even rage. Second, by helping us face a situation, it gives us an opportunity to see beyond it. Even if it seems that we will not get what we had been asking for from God, through prayer we may see that there is even something better than what we had been praying for. Yes, this is rather difficult, and it may take weeks, months, and even years to come to this realization, but through prayer it is definitely possible, whereas without prayer it is definitely impossible.

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