Making Tough Decisions: Part I

Making Tough Decisions: Christianity as the Standard
Part I: The Foundation

“I don’t know what to do! I can’t make up my mind!” is often the response of young and mature persons who are faced with tough decisions – be these decisions around education, career, choosing a soulmate, staying home or working outside as a mother, or choosing a direction in life during or after a successful career. Today’s life is so complex and relationships so intertwined, and there are so many possibilities and such a variety of consequences, that we may have difficulty making decisions, and even if we make decision we may still have difficulty sticking with them over a lifetime. So what basis can we use to make decisions? How can find some common ground that applies to decisions in all aspects of our life? The Christian Way of Life is that standard to which we can related our decisions in order to determine their validity and long term consequences. More specifically, the Holy Trinity as described within the Christian Faith is the foundation upon which we can seek to shape questions that are relevant to our decisions and through these questions gain some guidance for our decisions. The Holy Trinity comprises of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. The terms here are not intended to emphasize the “male” gender of humanity, but are rather to emphasize the fact that the Holy Trinity is the source of life as described in the Book of Genesis. In this Part I of the discussion, let us first consider how the Holy Trinity can be a foundation, an ideal, a model for our decision making process.

1. The sense of cooperation within the Holy Trinity is truly ideal. The three Persons, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit freely exercise their will, function, and act in relation to One another and humans in such a cooperative manner, that it seems that only one Person is responding to us when we pray to God. This sense of cooperation between the Persons of the Trinity goes beyond ‘perfect communication’ and ‘conflict resolution.’ It also entails establishing a true vision of ‘perfect unified cooperation’ between Them.

Questions for us to reflect upon: Do we enjoy this sense of cooperation with fellow human beings – be they family, friends, or co-workers? If “yes,” then how can these relationships be nurtured and take greater part in our future decisions? If “no,” then how can we find at least one relationship where there is this sense of perfect or even near-perfect cooperation?

2. There is a balance within the Holy Trinity between the needs of the Divine Community (the three Persons), and the needs of the individual Persons. This becomes apparent in the Crucifixion, Death, and Resurrection of Christ. The intent of the coming of Christ is the salvation of humanity. Even though Christ suffered and was crucified, yet God did not allow Christ to remain dead, but raised him. So not only does God provide to humanity the salvation that was promised, but also assures that His Son, Christ is alive and well, and is even proclaimed the ‘Victorious King.’ God assures that the value and integrity of the individual person, namely Christ, is maintained along with the objective of the community, namely the salvation of humanity through the Holy Trinity. This is the sense of balance between the importance of the ‘Person’ and ‘Community’ within the Trinity that needs to be reflected in the relationship between us and at least one other person within a relevant and life supportive relationship.

Questions for us to reflect upon: Do we have this sense of balance between the needs of the relationship and our personal needs within a relationship? Often we may devote time, effort, and spiritual resources to a relationship, but in order to find spiritual fulfillment for ourselves, we go outside of the relationship in a different space, time, or setting. This may be acceptable for a while but will become an irrelevant boring relationship after a while.

3. Developing a sense of calling is important for all of us so we can determine how we will make life better and through it gain a sense of fulfillment and gratification in life. What are the components of a ‘sense of calling’? There are at least four aspects to a sense of calling: Purpose, direction, timing, and discovery. We will discuss each of these as they relate to our relationships, but before that we need to recognize their origin within the Holy Trinity. In a short way, we may say that the Father’s calling is to guide all His children, namely us to reach the potential in life for which we were created. The calling of Christ is to become the role model, thus the Savior, whom we can trust and in him we find our path to salvation that is reaching the potential in life for which we were created. The calling of the Holy Spirit is to guide us with what Christ has taught and empower us with the strength we need so that we may be able to follow this path of Christ and reach the calling given to us by our Heavenly Father.

Questions for us to reflect upon: Do we have a sense of our calling in life? If “yes,” then do we have a relationship where we can experience and practice this calling? If “no,” then do we have a relationship within which we can discover our God given calling? As a hint, this sense of calling is much more than having a “title” – of being a student, a teacher, a wife, a husband, an executive, a doctor, a lawyer, or even a minister.

4. Having a sense of and striving for the eternal perspective on life helps us prioritize that which is truly important in life. The members of the Holy Trinity demonstrate this sense of priority in a very interesting paradoxical manner. For example, on the one hand we see that Christ is very clear and adamant on fulfilling his first priority of being the “Savior” of humanity. However, along that path he does not reject the requests of any persons who have a true need and approach him with humility. “Prioritizing” does not mean being inflexible or tunneled-visioned. Rather, it means being open to those persons and events around us, and by responding to them with love and compassion as we move towards fulfilling our purpose and calling in life.

Questions for us to reflect upon: Do we strive for the eternal and lasting in our life? If so, are we able to embrace through love and compassion those persons and relationships that we encounter along the way, or do we become very narrow-minded and continuously reject the sincere and genuine requests of others? In fact, do we have a relationship with another person with whom and in which we are able to strive for the eternal in life?

5. One of the most important ways of persevering through uncertain times and relationships is to reach out and embrace that which can be absolutely trusted. This ideal sense of absolute trust is found in the relationships that exist within the Holy Trinity, and most especially between the Father and the Son. The Father trusted the Son with everything that He has, with all possible authority. In turn, the Son trusted the Father with his life – with the fact that the Father will raise him after his death. This is perfect trust! As humans we may have difficulty coming close to this, but we can certainly try to approach it.

Questions for us to reflect upon: Do we truly trust God or His Son Christ with all that which we have? The issue is not to simply say that “I love God,” or that “I worship God,” or that “I glorify God.” Rather, do we truly trust God with everything, every moment, and every relationship that we have? This is not just a matter of words, but a Way of Life. Do we have a relationship in which we can exercise this trust in God?

When we can answer positively to all the questions above, then we can begin to have a foundation upon which we can make tough decisions about our life and stand a chance to stick to these decisions after we have made them. Of course, it is not the end of the world if we cannot answer positively to one or more of these questions. However, it is an indication that we have our work cut out or ourselves, but at least we have an inkling of how to get there!

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